I’m Not My Hair

I was recently perplexed when an audacious relative confessed that although they loved my hair, I would have found employment if my hair wasn’t natural. I was also urged not to dye the color and believe me, I wasn’t considering a radical change…a light auburn would do. They advised me to get a wig and wait to get a job before I did anything else to my hair. Normally I’d let unsolicited or negative comments just roll off my back since becoming thick-skinned but since it was served from a relative, it caused me to wonder; am I being judged by my hair? During this volatile recession, I’ve become a seasoned pro with all the many blessings of interviews but I haven’t secured anything permanent as of yet. Was there any validity to my relative’s statements? Did it matter that I was highly qualified with years of experience or that I was impeccably dressed and could strike a pose if a camera was avail? Are businesses still intimidated by Afrocentrism in this day and age? Did President Obama not signify that change has come from what we were accustomed to? Naivety isn’t clouding my judgment, I know that I’ve been turned down for some assignments just based on the color of my skin; and I still proudly fill out the voluntary ethnicity questionnaire on applications. Prejudice and discrimination is still rampant among us but it doesn’t shatter my pride nor make me regretful of going natural. I’m proud of who I am; black, intelligent, and definitely beautiful! I shouldn’t have to straighten my hair or cop a wig to be socially accepted for a position at an organization or otherwise; that would falsify my natural essence. So I’m listening to the candid advice that my fore-mothers instilled in me which is to always be myself and if something is meant for me…it is ultimately mine.

Good Hair, Did Chris Rock It???

Okay, this is my third post and the last time I’m revisiting Chris Rock’s documentary, Good Hair.  And after all the talk shows visits and my friends’ recommendations, I was hyped to see what Chris had unleashed about our haircare. I have to admit that I was NOT astounded.  In fact, I was very disappointment with his edutainment about African American rituals. You may find this to be shocking but hear me out first! Here are the pros: Yes, it was informative when he did the scientific experiment with sodium hydroxide (but on the real, anyone who perms their hair already knows about scalp burn and has experienced it at least once); Uncovering children getting perms at extremely tender ages was just sickening, (And it makes me appreciate my momma putting her foot down and making me wait until I was 12); The Asian connection in supply/demand for our products was an eye opener, (Come to think about it, I’ve seen them running most of the beauty supply stores in my neighborhood). Now the cons: Chris basically tapped on the perms and the weave industries; he didn’t represent for the natural sisters, (Having a few celebrities with their natural hair would have broaden the topic…would’ve loved to hear from Michaela angela Davis, Janelle Monae or Solange to name a few); Visiting all types of salons (Let’s face it, many of us visit both the Dominicans and upscale salons); And what the heck does the bedroom scene has to do with hair??? (Okay, maybe a little, Nia Long is on top…Wow! But going into the inappropriate made Chris lose viewers especially those who were the stem of this documentary…the youths). So these are my thoughts let me know what you think!

A Poetic Thought With Chantel A. Jonson

Chantel A. Jonson is a gifted writer of poetry and I was given the glorious opportunity to review her second work of art, Thoughts, Desires, Passions: A Collection of Poetry. I found her poems addressed realistic issues with a graceful candidness that makes you feel as if you are having a conversation with a trusted friend. Chantel has a way with words and I discovered my reflections in many of her pieces. Always thought-provoking, her poems resonates honesty which spoke volumes to me and made me linger for more. Here is my favorite:

In Those Quiet Moments

In those quiet moments

When you trace my lips with a curious index finger

My heart raps against my chest

The haze of passion inebriates us both

Too strong, too weak, too conscious, too dazed

A caress, a tiny breath escapes

An embrace, a desperate plea for comfort

Trust, curiosity, confession, as barriers are strained

Reckless release of inhibitions and adventure unfolds

To love, to lust, to care, to bond, to desire

Emotionally naked in the eyes of this lover

Soul exposed willingly giving its disclosure

Is this the memory we will have as the mark?

Will we stop here and wonder what should’ve been?

What could’ve been?

Regardless of what even the next second my hold

This moment is already sealed in time, in our hearts

Forever spoken in the voice of silence.

Excerpt from Thoughts, Desires, Passions: A Collection of Poetry by Chantel A. Jonson

Recession Doesn’t Equal Depression

photo by jonbell has no h on flickr

With my 9th, 10th, & 11th interviews approaching next week, I feel it’s time to reflect upon my travels on securing employment during the recession. First, I want to say that recession does NOT equal depression. No doubt it’s a challenge and at times it could make your future appear to be bleak but that’s not looking at things positively; (it’s looking through half-empty glasses). Look at the bright side, recession can change your life for the better. It can make you revisit your aspirations that were hidden behind career obligations. I rediscovered my passion for the written word, created 3 blogs, and I’m now looking forward to becoming a freelancer. So my recession has added to my skills by giving me the time to hone into my craft. It has also trained me into becoming a great interviewee; I’m not going to stop until I hear the magnificent words of YOU’RE HIRED. I’ve learned the art of selling myself which in turn has helped me with my writing; investigative reporting, here I come!

Throughout my journey I have hit a few speed bumps. I didn’t show enough enthusiasm on phone interview and didn’t get to the second round, I was corrected on my cover letter during a meeting, I even arrived at an appointment fifteen minutes late. OUCH! Believe me arriving tardy for the party was the ultimate blunder that I hope to never experience again. It really wasn’t my fault, I blame NYC traffic. Controlling it is a challenge for our Mayor. I left my house 1 1/2 hour early and still arrived late, (heard that Sex and the City was taping at the Plaza and traffic was backed on 5th, Lexington, & Park). I arrived frazzled and sweating; totally lost my cool, calm, and collectivity. After I explained my lateness to my interviewer with a twist of humor, I engaged him further with my charm. I had him laughing and smiling within seconds during our time together. In closing he told me he would get back to me the proceeding week. Did I get the job? Heck no! But I did receive a personal note from him and I realized that I would have been his first choice if I hadn’t come late. So I had to chuck that one up to experience. That position wasn’t for me. My grandmother used to say, “if something is for you, it cannot be un-for-you.” Her words hold validity to my situation. When the right position comes along, I will know because I will be hired!

Tyra, Keeping It Real?

Did you see her? Well if you were like me, you’ve missed Tyra Banks debut her “real hair” on the September 8th Season 5 Premiere of her signature show. With a new time (at 4pm) and new channel (CW) this is going to happen regularly for me. BIG Oprah Winfrey fan here so you know where my dedication will be. No problem folks thanks to You Tube. To be honest, this snippet of her show was all I needed to see that Ms. Banks is keeping it real with us. It was actually refreshing to witness Tyra reverted back to her normal state minus the tracks, weaves, and wigs. I thought she looked great performing her famous strut and captivating the audience with a 360 degree view of her damp tresses. But for some reason, I feel this version of Tyra will not last too long. Think about it…Tyra has been rocking her hair accessorized for so long and being in front of a camera with an array of outfits, her hairstyle completed those looks; especially on America’s Next Top Model. I hope I’m wrong on this one because I would like to see her continue to dazzle us with new hairdos. Do you think she will continue to rock her real mane or will she be tracking back? Share your thoughts, I’m all ears!

Patience With Me

Photo by leestababee on flickr

With so many celebrity candles blown out way too soon, I am constantly reminded how precious life truly is. The invaluable lesson that these unfortunate occurrences has taught me is to have patience with myself. There are so many things that I want to accomplish but I’ve realized that it takes time to build greatness.  Weight loss is an important goal on my agenda, not just for the aesthetic beauty but for a healthier lifestyle. I desire to treat this body of mine like the temple it was created to be. Like the fabulous Ms. Sherri Shepherd, I’ve used my journey to educate and encourage others towards betterment. So it would be no sign of defeat if I admit to you, my valued viewers, that I fell off my regimen. For a month the only exercise that I seemed to perform outstandingly well was shoveling food down my throat. Yikes! Being a stress-eater has been a challenge for me and at times I have lost my bout. The great news is that I’ve returned to incorporating exercise in my daily regimen with that same determination that I had before…perhaps, even more! So if you have fallen off like me, don’t fret…Dust yourself off and keep it moving!

The New View of Sherri Shepherd

I‘ll be the first to admit, that when Sherri Shepherd debuted her new and improved body on The View on August 6th, I immediately thought her body wasn’t proportioned and she should consider a breast reduction. Her bottom half had notably changed but her top remained the same size and made her look top heavy. I for one was very supportive and inspired by Sherri’s decision to display her weight-loss journey and bikini bod on the show. Girl has guts and I applaud her for it!

I couldn’t wait to pick up the OK Magazine featuring Sherri on the front cover. I desired to learn more about her story and life after size 16. Our girl chiseled down to a size 6. Awesome! Definitely wanted to hear her tips for those who want to decrease…yes please! As I stood on line at Target, a female customer ahead of me saw my anticipation to grab the magazine. She leaned over to me and snickered, “She’s a size 6. Do you believe that? Yeah, and I’m a size 4.” In my total chrissy moment I asked, “Are you a size 4?” The lady took her change from the cashier and responded, “No, I’m not. And she’s no 6 either. I don’t believe it.” After she left with her groceries, the cashier also added his opinion that mirrored hers about his disbelief in Sherri’s new size. Right away, their comments made me rethink my own judgments on Sherri’s body. Our thoughts were merely speculations about her situation and bares absolutely no merit.

When I read the article Sherri’s Hot New Shape, by Shauna Bass, I was further convinced that I was in the wrong. She asked Sherri the question that was on my mind as well as many others about having her breasts reduced. It was Sherri’s response to that inquiry that left me in reverence, “I don’t understand what everyone’s obsession is with me getting a boob job! God gave these to me and I love my boobs. I wish they were bigger!” She is basically loving herself unconditionally. Sherri Shepherd, I stand corrected!

Thick Skinned

I was repeatedly warned by my You Tube goddesses. Their messages were clear for me to grow thick skin when I decided to cut my hair off. Well I’m here to report that they were absolutely correct. I’ve read so many scathing comments about Solange Knowles regarding her recent big chop and it’s disheartening to witness people (black folks in particular) pass judgment on her. She is clearly a beautiful woman. I’ve gotten the same negative feedback about returning to my roots, mostly from my male counterparts; my brothers. I’ve closed my eyes to the sneers, ignored the jeers, and refused to explain my decision of cutting the relaxer out my hair. It’s darn right shameful that the conception of beauty for many black people is for a woman to have long, straight tresses. It’s so narrow-minded. Beauty comes in various forms from the texture of your hair (natural or straightened) to the shape of your body (thin or thick); we are all created in God’s likeness. Our loveliness is limitless.

eduarte24 on flickr

Back in the early 70’s, it was clearly an empowering movement for black men and women to sport afros in conjunction with celebrating their black pride. James Brown resonating song, “Say It Loud – I’m Black and I’m Proud” was the anthem about our racial equality. Afro picks with the black fist were a hot commodity; a definite keepsake if you could find one nowadays. So I’m naturally embracing my culture and the beauty of my hair. I stumbled across numerous pictures of my beautiful mother modeling her afro in various stages of her life. I feel so honored to be part of her and realized that I’m now emulating her looks from her earlier years. I even found some photos of myself with my afro puffs…rocking! I can tell she’s proud of my choices and her warmed-hearted compliments are dear to my heart. Her approval is the only one that matters to me. The naysayers can step to the left.

Dust It Off

KatherineKenny on flickr

There are so many things in my life that I allowed to slip. A few I have mentioned in earlier posts and let’s just say, it’s a work in progress. But just recently, I looked around my apartment and realized so many unwanted things that I’ve accumulated over the years. I’m not afraid to admit that I have some pack-rat tendencies which unfortunately is hereditary for many of the women in my family; excluding my mother who it seemed to skip over. But like my fore-mother, I keep everything even if it doesn’t really have value to me. So I have decided to trim off all the unnecessary items and dust off the valuables.

The first item that I dusted the cobwebs off of was my exercise bike which has been a sturdy clothing rack for me. I had my exercise gear covering the handles and books stacked up high on the seat; my bike was barely recognizable in my bedroom. Jeez! My weights were buried on the ground underneath piles of magazines. Having too many subscriptions is my guilty pleasure; I’m hardly able to read all my mags even if its pertaining to what I love most…Fashion & Beauty!

Put my shredder to good use and went through all my old bills and solicitations. This is a ritual that should be practiced weekly because its a reoccurring process and could mount up fast. Broke out the pledge and shined my dusty bookshelves, desk, and dresser. Since I have seasonal allergies, this is a must! It helps to reduce the allergy symptoms. Busted out the broom and mopped the heck out of my floors. Seeing that gleam made me feel refreshed. Got my apartment back in good shape and felt good about this achievement. Let me not forget to mention how cleaning is manual labor and yes it gave my muscles a workout for sure! Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Chris Rock’s Good Hair

I don’t know about you but I’m completely excited and can’t wait to see Chris Rock’s comical but yet informative documentary Good Hair. The idea stemmed from when one of his daughters asked the puzzling question why she didn’t have good hair. This quandary brought me back to my own childhood when I loathed the process of getting my hair washed and styled. I was tortured every other week when my mama came into the bathroom with the pot to wash my hair in the tub. Then I was further punished when she had to style it after it was washed. My mama broke so many combs in my head which was when I longed for the relaxed tresses otherwise known today as “the creamy crack.” Its taken me over 20 years to appreciate the thickness and strength of my hair; I celebrate it’s beauty everyday when sporting my TWA. Looking forward to being enlightened and entertained with Chris Rock’s inquiry with black women about their hair on October 23rd 9th.